Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
