It's Friday. Sex?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
