boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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