Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You smell like stripper and shame
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
