Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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