First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
