ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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