What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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