Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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