can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
