i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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