The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
