They should really pass out barf bags in church
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
