There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
