sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
