He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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