Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
