Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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