In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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