just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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