Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Randomize
