I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we're making bets on your personal life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
