There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
