Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
