there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize