school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
