He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
