Michael Bay diarrhea
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
