Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
