check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize