your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
