Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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