I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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