Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
