I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
