thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
