your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
