The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
