I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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