i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
