I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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