Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you made out with another girl for some wings
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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