Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
