I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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