I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
