At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
