i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
