the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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