And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
