Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
