I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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