You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
