is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
