Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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