At least make sure they are 18
Why
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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