She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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