I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
