i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
