forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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