I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
