Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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